Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Bane of my existence

I hate them. I hate that they exist but most of all I hate the way they hang around, waiting for me to pick up a dishcloth one of them is having a nap in or open a book one is snoozing in. It is always when I am distracted, when I don't have enough sense to be paranoid and shake the thing first. I hate it when they hang on the ceiling waiting to drop on me. It's like they know. You know, if you've had them, what I'm talking about. I'm speaking of the fu%$ing earwigs. I've tried everything. I've sprayed with the pesticide stuff and with the sudsy water, put out traps of soya sauce and vegetable oil. I've done it all and they do seem a little less but they are still here. They still manage to get in through every crack (even though I thought we'd caulked every single one) and hang out in my home. Uninvited. I didn't ask them in so I have no qualm in killing them. I just want to know how the fu%$ I am supposed to get rid of them once and for all. Maybe I could move. There must be places where they don't exist. Surely, Craig Welsh is not up in Iqaluit, finding earwigs in his soapdish. Even though most people around here have them, I still feel so alone in this battle. I think we need some video game type killing machines, like a ray gun or something, so we can decimate the lot of them. Who's with me?


At 12:43 AM, Blogger Helmut said...

I'm totally with you. One crawled out of my "in" tray at work this morning.

Is no place sacred?

At 10:37 AM, Blogger Sure b'y said...

Ewwww. At work? Yes, there should be somewhere sacred one could go to avoid them. Perhaps instead of bomb shelters, we should create earwig shelters. But you know they'd get in there somehow. They're insidious. I'll let you know when I find the ray gun that slaughters the ugly creatures.

At 12:49 PM, Blogger towniebastard said...

I can safely say that I have not seen an earwig since arriving up here. It wouldn't have surprised me, though. Lord knows we packed enough stuff to send up and some of them could have stowed away.

But no, nar a sign of earwigs. Chaulk one up for Iqaluit.

Of course, I was warned to becareful of going to certain parts of Iqaluit once it gets dark (which is now around 3 p.m.) because hungry wolves might have wandered into town.

Almost makes you wish for earwigs....


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