Monday, February 27, 2006

Maybe I ain't so old after all

Stolen from John Feltham, a list of signs you have grown up. And since I am hitting a major milestone this year, I thought I should answer them myself.


1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Have no houselplants. They all die.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
I don't rule out having sex anywhere.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
True, but I'm more of a wine girl and my wine rack looks good

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
I don't get up at 6:00 AM if I can help

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
Is Mr. Brightside on the elevator already?

6. You watch the Weather Channel.
I live in Newfoundland. Don't we all watch that?

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Not really

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
If I'm outta my PJs, I'm dressed up.

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Not yet but that could happen

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Ewww, I hope that never happens.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
N/A here unless the one in the movie theatre counts.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
My dog would eat me if I laid off the Mickey Dee's for him.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Probably. Thankfully, hubby lets me sleep in the bed.

16. You take naps.
Can't nap.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Rarely get dinner AND a movie anymore.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
I go for all of them, actually.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
True! Ack! Cough! Spit!

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
Nope. Not with blogs (and online soduku) around.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
I always did that. That's a student's trick.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"
Could go either way. Depends on the friend and her situation.

Bonus:: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
No. Now, that makes me happy.


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